Rhythm, Rituals, and Red-Letter-Days
The following is my final draft of a little talk I gave to a group of moms, so while lengthy, not all the lists or topics will read as a complete thought. They were a jumping off point during my discussion, so the context isn’t always there. What this was my written-out answer to the question "Yes, but HOW do you actually homeschool and balance all the other stuff?”. The answer wasn’t fancy, but it is honest. Several changes have been made to the daily routine post-2020, but essentially, much is the same.
Rhythm, Rituals, and Red Letter Days
“A man should choose with a careful eye the things to be remembered by.” Robert P.T. Coffin
Rhythm: Regular occurrence of elements in a system of motion
Ritual: any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner
Red-Letter Days: A day that is pleasantly noteworthy or memorable, from early 18th century practice of highlighting a festival in red on a calendar.
Return on Investment: Weighing the gains agains the cost.
Life in the Slow Lane
“To live is to be slowly born.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Too much of a good thing is too much
Holidays/vacations = mixed bag
Checking off the boxes does not = sanity
Scheduled rests - sabbaths of the soul
Coping Mechanisms
“But listen to me. For one moment quit being sad. Hear blessings dropping their blossoms around you. “ Rumi
Another place to hang your hat
Pockets of happy, pockets of sad
Saving up for a rainy day: bake a double batch
When things go sideways/an anchor for the soul
Might I have a Bit of Earth?
“So long as I know what is expected of me, I can manage.” Frances Hodgson Burnett
Bible Study - personal and as a family, individual prayer at bedtime.
Trial and error: Don’t be a martyr. Start with the free stuff.
You CAN take it with you: nature journals, audiobooks,
Rituals vs. One-offs: Leave room for spontaneity
Biblical Principle
“Neglect not the gift that is in thee.” 1 Timothy 4:14
A High Calling: In the Old Testament we learn the motive for rituals and rhythm. The ministry of the Levitical priests was designed to illustrate aspects of God’s character and to create a sanctuary for the people. Incense, bread, oil lamps, artwork, fabrics, music: all the elements of the sanctuary combined to paint a tangible expression of the heart of God. Every directive was intentional. Some tasks were a daily activity, some were anticipated for an entire year. Communion was their livelihood. They were not merchants, or warriors or engineers, but their work was meaningful.
A Moveable Feast: Fast forward to the New Testament: Jesus was sent to the world, surrounded by the defunct, the displaced, and the lost, with no home and no regular place from which to minister. He had less “raw materials” than the priests in regard to location and resources, not to mention having a startlingly small circle of friends and an even smaller family. The well from which Christ drew was not dependent on the masses. He surpassed them all in His ability to create something from next to nothing: water to wine, bread to a feast, a home in the wilderness. His presence created the environment regardless of the surroundings, and He taught His disciples by example. He left us His spirit as a guide of how to do the same.
Do the Thing: Much can be done with little. You do not need to be a creative type or expert baker or well-read. Audiobooks and slice-and-bake cookies are just as valid as reading aloud and making them from scratch. Do not farm out what you can do at home. The rituals we choose will have a cumulative effect. It’s good to start small.
Save your dollars: The less money and effort spent on any activity, the more likely it will be repeated and become a habit. We lose momentum when time or cost get in the way. If our little traditions are affordable and meaningful, then our children can take them when they leave home.
A spirit in a sensory shell.
Our perception is influenced by our senses and has bearing on our spirit. Engaging the senses reinforces memory, so use music, candles, grabbing socks and a sweater or a snack and a cup of tea, a 5-minute chat about the most interesting thing in the past week: whatever resources you have on hand to enrich the atmosphere. Use them and teach your children to use them. The idea is not to raise them to expect to always be comfortable or to require socks and tea to function, but to have the presence of mind to adapt and overcome with whatever means they can. The DMV queue is less loathsome if you have a verse to mull over and a song to hum.
Annually:
During a summer rain: read Thundercake by Patricia Polacco and bake the recipe from the book. (I bought the book for a couple cents at a thrift shop, so we’d always have it at the ready when it started raining). The ingredients are very basic and it’s always fun for the kids to surprise daddy or their friends with the secret ingredient (it’s tomatoes!).
First Day of Autumn: make “Honey Hot Chocolate for a Very Blusterous Day Outside” from The Pooh Cookbook and decorate the house.
The first rainy day of fall: we make gingerbread cake.
The first of October: we listen to “Thanksgiving” album by Windham Hill.
The first of November: we listen to Josh Groban’s “Illuminations” album. It’s somewhere in between fall-ish and holiday-ish, and speaks about being home, traveling, hard work and gratitude.
November we make Chex Mix and Muddy Buddies
Near Thanksgiving: Read “Cranberry Thanksgiving”, we make the recipe for cranberry bread, watch Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
Around Easter we have a cosmic egg hunt, with little LEDs in the eggs and the kids go hunt in the evening with the whole yard glowing
Seasonally:
Before every birthday and Christmas, and at the end of the school year, do a toy and clothing purge. The boys hand their toys and clothes down to each other or someone who can use them, and the rest go to Goodwill. We often will do a small bit of “mad money” for them to shop with or save for their good efforts.
At the beginning and end of the schoolyear, we do a craft supplies refresh! Take everything out of the cabinet, and only put back what is useable. This is a good reason to save up jars and clear containers from the kitchen: save money on storage, and kids love to use what they can actually see. The basic drawing materials have permanent residence on the coffee table with easy access to plain paper. This keeps the art supplies fresh and inviting and often reawakens their desire to create something on the spot.
Note: giving access to gobs of plain paper is one of the single most important factors of fostering creativity you can do. They will go through a lot of it as they perfect their craft. This is excellent. If they actually request coloring books, then go for it, but only if they ask!
Weekly:
Saturday morning is cereal and cartoons. Everyone stays in pajamas until 11 or so. If we travel, we often bring cereal along and get milk wherever we end up.
Church activities: Fellowship is key! It opens the doors to be a blessing to others and makes opportunities for hospitality. So we say yes to as many youth activities as the boys have a desire to attend and serve at. It’s ministry practice for them, in addition to fellowship, it’s good energy spent! For us it’s a free and thoughtful alternate for sports or other extracurriculars.
Daily:
After breakfast, once they’re “ready for the day”, the kids have free time (not screen time) until school starts (usually around 10). I’ll start a load of laundry and hopefully have a meal plan in mind.
School starts with a short Bible study. No commentary, I just read a chapter of the Bible out loud. Let the Word wash over the kids and let the Holy Spirit do His own work. We leave time for comments and questions and everyone takes turns to pray for the day and for people. On the days we have to jet out super quick, we sometimes just pray and take off. Christ is first, family second, everything else follows after!
Lunchtime we usually listen to an audiobook. Occasionally we watch cartoons or an educational show. I’ll try and toss the meal in the slow cooker and check if we have all we need.
After schoolwork, chores, and music practice, once the boys have taken care of any loose ends they’ve left undone (like messes or clothes that need putting away), then it’s free time. Screen time is limited to a couple hours total max, sometimes less, usually broken up between cartoons/video games. Art or outside play or reading or listening to music or audiobooks or resting is a free-for-all. This time is usually when I’ll jet out to run errands (bringing the littles with me but letting the older ones stay home).
At 4 pm, the kettle goes on the stove for tea for anyone who wants it. It’s a time to regroup. It signals the transition to the evening. If we’re out, we don’t just go buy some tea at a shop, but my reminder does go off to show me how often I’m out and to be mindful of being “home for tea” with the boys as often as possible.
Evening pickup: this is a biggie for peace: making the home back into a home rather than a classroom. Books and papers go back on the shelf, any projects are put aside to be completed later, toys and books and blankets and socks and hoodies and all the paraphernalia and detritus and flotsam of the day get sent back from whence they came.
Welcome daddy home and everyone splits off for sweatpants. Get time to catch up on the day with my husband for 10 minutes or so before heading back out to the kids and letting them catch up.
Praying with each before sleep closes the day with a constancy that can be depended upon, even via FaceTime if someone happens to be traveling or sleeping-over.
